Breaking Anxiety

Storms make trees take deeper roots!
-Unknown

What a great day!!  I had the opportunity to have lunch with a dear client and friend.   During lunch we had the chance to catch up on all the usual life stuff, careers, family, kids, etc.  Each of which lead into much more about people, perspectives, and the struggles we all have.  As I sit back and reflect on our conversation, I think about how often we miss these opportunities.  We miss the chance to really hear and get to know other people.  What I mean by this is being present in the moment.   It’s easy to get caught up in “what’s next” or “work obligations” that we are not completely present in our conversations.  Looking back, I’m so happy I was able to make this shift and truly be present in moments.

Over my journey of recognizing and overcoming anxiety and borderline depression at times, I recognized how important being present is to combat it, at least for me.  In the past I would have been wrapped up in what I still have to check off on my to do list for the day.  Or worse unable to enjoy and appreciate the moments when you tend to how shall I say, overstress about expectations.   Way too often before I started focusing on me and my well-being, I would have had several the signs of stress and anxiety in moments like today.  I would be so stressed about work and the expectations although I would actively try to listen and be present my authentic self wasn’t always seen.  See it’s hard to show your true self when your hiding behind anxiety.   These moments are when we should be appreciating and enjoying building relationships, building support systems.   Interestingly enough and part of the conversation had today was that you often can’t recognize when others are struggling in this area.  Friends, Anxiety is not something you can often see.  You may have close people around you who are struggling each day that on the surface they put on a happy face.   I can’t say entirely from an outsider perspective, but I am pretty confident mine use to come across as “high strung” or “Edgy” when in actuality much of the time it was me so wrapped up in getting things right and not disappointing that ultimately, I was disappointing myself.   No one should feel this way.  The tough thing is that it’s hard to see. 

The long-term impact of stress and anxiety are well documented and very easy to find, just google it and you will come up with pages of results.  How to see anxiety is not quite as easy.  I can say for me.  I am pretty sure I hid it very well from people.  I’ve always had the mentality that you just have to slap on a smile and get er’ done.  You guys, if you are in this situation, take steps, it’s not healthy or good long term, it will catch up.
 
Here is the good news, there are active steps you can take to try to help.  I’m so grateful to be able to say, when I feel it now, I can redirect within a few seconds, generally speaking I mean we all have tough days.  Here are a few of the tips I use, try them they may work for you.    And, remember, you have a tribe behind you here if you ever need a nudge message me, I’d be happy to point you in the direction of my best tips and resources that have helped me.

• Write down what you are feeling.  When I first started redirecting the anxiety this one probably helped me most.  I started by writing positives but for me it helped more when I wrote about what made me anxious. Once I had that laid out it was a whole lot easier to define what was real and I needed to act on and what I needed to just recognize was not worth the worry and let go of. I keep a notebook with me all the time and what I am having a moment I write it down.  It somehow takes the moment out of my head and along with it any anxiousness.
• Start a gratitude journal.  Friends, if you would have told me a year ago that I would have a gratitude journal I would have kindly declined.  I believe I have always been grateful for the things and people I have in my life, why do I need to take the time to write it down.  But I stand before you today telling you I write what I am grateful for each day.  I write about the things I’ve overcome, the people I have in my life, the basics of course, roof over my head, cloths, etc.  I also write about what I am grateful which is yet to come.  It’s pretty cool what happens when you are grateful for something that hasn’t quite happened yet.
• Practice gratitude in the moment.  When I feel myself getting worked up or anxious in a situation, I remind myself that I am grateful for whomever is in front of me or whatever the moment.  For me, this can instantly take my anxiety and stress away. 
• Try meditation.  This one took me some time to really figure out what worked best for me.  I still have days that I must really work on it.  There are some great options on this one.  There are several apps or YouTube.  There is truly something for everyone.  I have a couple go too resources that I use on YouTube, Dr. Deepak Chopra and Vishen Lakhiani.
• Take a social media detox.  Social media can cause you to compare yourself to the other things/people you see.  It can also fill your head with negative images, thoughts, opinions.  Even though you may think it doesn’t impact you, your subconscious catches things.
• Write yourself a manifesto of yourself, all your best qualities and your vision for your life.  I love I AM statements for this one.  Then make sure you read it every day!  
• Just breathe.  Take sixty seconds and take some good healthy belly breathes, it’s amazing what it can do to calm and even rejuvenate.
  

Finally, talk to someone, if you have a reliable source that you feel you can trust.  Sometimes just the act of getting it off your chest can help.  You have a whole life in front of you friends, take the time to take care of you, You Are Worth IT!!

Much love,

Jen